The Conversation

I don’t really talk about this and maybe that’s part of the problem.

I have an eating disorder.

Not the “obvious” kind, not the kind people always notice right away. I’ve gotten really good at hiding it—behind jokes, behind “I’m just not hungry,” behind pretending like everything’s fine. But it’s not and it hasn’t been for a while.
Some days i eat too much and some days i eat nothing. Most days, food feels like a game i’m losing—where every bite comes with guilt, or shame, or this voice in my head that won’t shut up. The worst part? Nobody sees the war going on. They see me smile. They see me “normal” but they don’t see the panic over calories, or the hours spent thinking about food (or avoiding it) or the way mirrors turn into nightmaresss.
I'm tired not just physically, but mentally too. Emotionally. It’s exhausting pretending like I'm okay when I'm not and honestly, i don’t want to pretend anymore.
I'm not sharing this for pity. I'm sharing it because i know I'm not the only one and maybe someone else out there needs to hear it too—to know they’re not alone. Healing isn’t linear. I'm not “fixed.” but I'm trying. and that has to count for something. If you’re struggling too, i see you. I'm with you. and you deserve help, even if your brain tells you otherwise.

its one day at a time. #EatingDisorder #Help #NotAlone