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There are THREE OTHER TOILETS! THREE! But NOOOO, you HAVE to park your ass right next to mine and unleash the sonic boom of whatever unholy hell you ate last night! I don't WANT to hear your bodily functions in stereo! I'm trying to have a peaceful moment of porcelain contemplation here, not experience a goddamn symphony of digestion! HAVE SOME DECENCY! SPREAD OUT! IT'S NOT THAT COMPLICATED! JUST...STOP! USING! THE! TOILET! NEXT! TO! ME! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY!
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