The Conversation

I just graduated early from a public Ivy League university. I worked hard all my years in high school and college to be able to get my bachelors degree at 19. (I even got an associates degree while I was in highschool). Here’s the kicker — ever since I was 7 I’ve had a dream of working in the technical side of the entertainment industry. I got a degree in film. Big ass mistake. I invested all of my time in learning my dream job, internships at n top companies and studios, just to graduate and have ONE job in entertainment that only schedules me 3 random days a month. I love my job, but I feel like shit living at home with my parents and not learning anything for the remainder of the month. When I was in college I had multiple jobs, club meetings, hella classes, hobbies, friend hang outs, and I had a free gym membership. Now I’m in my small town and I sit in bed all day being sad that I’m not doing anything.

I sort of blame myself for choosing this lame ass career and learning every single skill in my field instead of being in something traditional and stable.

I also really don’t like living with my parents and I miss being able to cook and clean for myself. I also miss living in a walkable city. I feel like the dreams and goals I set for myself have all been accomplished except for my final goal of being busy and making a livable wage. I just feel hopeless. I have applied to 40+ jobs in the past 3 months to get a second job and nothing.
Most of those positions are in retail and fast food too. I have a two degree, office, and film production experience, but I’m not qualified to be a cashier at McDonalds.
I have an unpaid internship but it’s hella sketchy and the man I’m working for just wants me to be a bikini model for his shoots. I want to be behind the camera. I don’t want to be a model!!!!! He sends me networking opportunities but it’s all AI bullshit !!!!! Fuck AI