The Conversation

Oh god, it's Friday again, and all I can think about is how much I hate that I'm such a colossal failure. Like, seriously, I went to medical school. Medical school! And I couldn't cut it. Just couldn't. And now? Now I'm staring down hundreds of thousands in debt, and it feels like there are exactly zero jobs for me.

I mean, yeah, I could go into healthcare, but the pay? It wouldn't even touch my monthly payments, not by a long shot. So I'm trying to switch careers, but that takes time. So much time. And while I'm doing that, that goddamn debt number is just going to keep climbing. I swear to god, I'm going to die poor. I can just see it.
And marriage? Kids? Forget about it. How could I ever inflict this mountain of debt on someone else? Or worse, on little innocent lives if something happened to me? It's just not fair. I hate that my failure, my one big screw-up, is being punished so brutally. Every single day.

I just wish I was better. I wish I was smart enough, strong enough, enough to have succeeded. I hate that I'm this pathetic shell now, and there's absolutely nothing I can do to change it. Everything just... hurts. It all just hurts.