The Conversation

Ok, so I’m 30 and been single since feels like forever, and finally I meet a guy at my new job whom is just THE ONE prince charming, knight in shining armor riding in during the sunset and blah blah blah… oh — but it turns out he has three kids and a wife. Nice. So i’m just bumbling on, trying to resist from flirting, when the opportunity arises to meet said wife at the work party; now i’m imagining some baggy, mumsy type, maybe a bit fat and clingy. Well, turns out the lucky lady only looks like a porcelain lady-doll / gwen stefiani midget with massive bright red lipstick and luminous white hair, somehow she is able to not move any portion of her face whatsoever whilst speaking or make any gestures, conversation is a nono, and hell no this woman does not look like she’s had kids. Anyway, skip to the end, I am pretty pissed because how can he be with this featureless fancy-dress waxwork woman. Oh and did i mention she is absolutely STUNNING! (For real). I thought he was in my league and it kind of gave me hope of meeting a guy I really like but this has just blasted me back past square one of how i feel about myself in terms of looks, My teeth are like a frigging horses, giant eye-bags that father christmas could probably use for his full delivery and a jawline that makes me look like an alien. I’m not crying or nowt like that but; DDAAAMMMNN I needed to rant.