i keep fucking up my life over and over and i don’t even know why i do it. i get attached way too fast, way too deep and then i end up doing stupid shit just to feel like i matter to someone and it just blows up in my face every time. makes me feel smaller, emptier, like there’s nothing left of me.
yeah i got people around me, family, friends, whatever. but i still feel alone as hell. family doesn’t even feel like family. friends always drift off, act like everything’s fine while i’m falling apart. and then there’s me, stuck with me, and i hate the hell out of myself.
sometimes i think about just ending it, disappearing into nothing where none of this shit matters anymore. but life doesn’t work like that. guess we don’t get what we want.
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