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i'd really rather be anywhere else than here... it feels like the world is decaying. i keep eating more/enough and hating myself for it. i haven't slit my wrists in a while. maybe that's why everything feels worse. it's like laying underneath the stars and not seeing them because of the goddamn city lights. the urge to curl into myself and scream will never leave. my partner and i are planning to get married in a few years when we graduate. honestly the only thing keeping me here for now.
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