The Conversation

My heart breaks...every fucking time i tell myself i let it happen to me. I began to like my professor, he approached me and before i knew it he had my number and i had his. He was my friend on fb and it seemed like a wonderful love story. Then began the texting first shared interests, then sexting which i had never done. Then due to my inexperience in just about everything...He told me i was "prude"...All the while he psychologically analyzed me...There was no sex, just oral. Still i fooled myself when i believed he could love me. In reality he wanted sex which i refused to give. Then as i waited outside my class eager to see him, he walked in front of me holding his future conquests hand smiling with her. I actually liked him. I didnt do it for the grade i truly liked him... But my inexperience and my foolish illusion (even though there was sex )i feel dirty and ashamed. im 19this june 28 & already i feel worthless