What is something you wish would disappear?

Everything is my fault. I've been too naive and careless. I fcking hate my ex-bff for using me, stealing my stuff secretly and spreading rumors abt me; yet i didn't even noticed til now. I hate the fact that she never even treated me as a friend, just a "tool" she can use. Now, was it my fault that i'm ignoring her now? she was the first to replaced me anyway. Ugh, maybe i won't have any friends despite of how i help everyone everytime. I'm so frickin lost. I hate my life.

feeling very dejected. had my heart broken badly last summer when my long term boyfriend cheated on me. early this year, i started seeing this guy R again who i'd dated before my cheating ex, and things seemed to be going really well, until he told me he "didnt think he could be a good boyfriend to me." he reassured me over and over it was all him and nothing i did or said, and almost seemed to regret it immediately after, cracking jokes about walking it back.

he still messages me every single day, supports my artwork, and invited me to one of his band's shows, because they had a food truck of something he remembered me mentioning as one of my favorite foods... he makes it seem like he still likes me, but obviously doesn't if he already directly said no, what choice do i have but to respect that?

just recently, i thought i was finally moving forward... an old friend of mine, M, reconnected and took me out on several dates. but once we hooked up on the most recent one, he's just completely ghosted me.... makes no effort to reach out anymore, couldn't give less of a shit about my art.


i don't understand what's wrong with me. why am i so unlovable? am i just an object, a conquest, why does nobody want to be companions and share intimacy beyond sex?

I am confused though. With Jimmy Kimmel being suspended because he said something anti Trump, the people offended. Can't they, oh I don't know, CHANGE THE FUCKING CHANNEL??!!! I mean, when I had a TV, all the way up to when my now dead roommate from suspected suicide college who was living with me and let me watch his TV, and even my ex friend now, guess what us two did, me and my ex friend? CHANGED THE FUCKING CHANNEL!!! With a REMOTE!! DAMN, there are times I wonder how we still function!

I'm confused. Somebody help me out. In short, I guess thanks non member limitations, lol? Anyway, religious people are supposed to be the bravest, loving, filled of wisdom amongst people. At least more than secular ones. Because they read a book that talks about the Lord, salvation, overall good stuff, so you would logically think with that, because you have faith God's on your side, you should have nothing to fear. Wrong. What caused that? Furries. How is this even possible, truthfully?

Hate living in a town where queerness is seen as more of an act than an identity. Always seen as inherently sexual and out of the ordinary, as if it’s any different. They’ll never look at me the same.

i feel so unsafe no matter where i go. because of who i am i can’t exist or talk about how i feel. i have no power to change the things that i want to change and i have nowhere to go that will let me. it feels like im truly dying from the inside. nothing feels normal anymore. humanity is truly awful.

I've noticed a lot of female YouTubers already have boyfriends/husbands, and male YouTubers don't.

Why do you suppose that is?

is it bad that if they texted me right now i would respond in a heartbeat. this is stupid. stupid stupid stupid.
they probably still hate me and don’t miss me and i’m just pathetically misinterpreting every little thing i see. i’m so stupid. sorry.

Listen...I'm for freedom to do what you want as much as anyone else. But as usual, idealism ALWAYS is superseded by reality. Not totally in some cases, but just pure idealism is rare. But why in the BLUE FUCKING EARTH is a WOMAN OUT JOGGING AT 4AM??!!! THEN she's on Youtube complaining about how scared she is of doing it. Like woman, you can fucking either get a treadmill or do some equivalent of that, like jumping jacks! Even when I was a young man in my 20s, I NEVER was out past midnight!

Don't understand...So even if the whole world claims Palestine is a country, how does that stop Israel? They have the strongest country, or at least one of the strongest, America on their side. It's like Israel saying if America is on our side, who can be against us? This just seems like more impotent statesman making unless China sides with the Palestinians and actually then starts to make acts of any kind towards it, like Turkey's doing. I'm just looking at it impartially. Glad I stay away.