What is your latest what the hell moment?

(5729 pt3) i still miss them, its been a long time but i still wonder where they are, i hope they got better without me, i know i bring people down and i know all i do is cause harm and im better off alone but i still want to know what being held close feels like i still want to be loved, i know its selfish to befriend people when i know ill just cause them harm but the few moments i get with people online, they make me feel okay even if its back to nothing when they leave the room

(5729) im scared, im scared of myself and for the future, i hate wanting to die every night and I hate having the pressure that I need to do better and I need to do right, ive hurt so many people with my ways and the guilt weighs on me everyday, i just want to do the right thing. im tired of spending all my days alone with no one to be with, im tired of filling the hole in my soul with drugs and pretending that everyday i dont get closer to taking my final stance and giving in to the temptations

im just tired of life, im tired of being alone, everyone comes and go's, im tired of waking up in the morning sick and in pain, im tired of feeling like im never enough, spending every night pondering if its even worth running lifes course, im tired of the people i care about walking out and im tired of getting attached to people I know ill never be good enough for, it just gets harder and harder to wakeup in the morning and push through the day, i just want to be loved. (5729 - code for pt2)

That moment when some1 ask "are you ok" and you just have to say you are fine even though everyone knows you are not

I'm 12 yo and I'm home schooled and I have to fkin worry about looking pretty,2 more years till high school,2 more years till I have to do algebra 2,breaking out,middle school boys,and every night I cry cuz my family forgets me constantly and I feel like I am replacing my late bunnies with my new kittens and the only thing that keeps me going keeps me from hurting myself is fkin ballet I have been an Pointe for a month but I get to assist my teacher with the little ones keeps me from hurting me.

i liked my guy friend for past months and i dont know if i should tell him how i feel we are quite different like me being very quiet and him being so loud and he just makes me me smile and laugh whenever i am around him its nice to have but i am not sure when i like what we have and im afraid i will ruin it and then i wont smile and laugh as much he got me to be a little more open person and hes really special to me and i dont know what to do

I have a friend that I really like, and for the longest time I kept it close to my chest as she’s straight… or was, or something, I’m not entirely sure what the fuck is going on. But a couple of months ago she was showing interest in me, flirting and such. I double checked with a few friends to make sure I wasn’t out of my mind, and then I asked her out and she said yes, but we only dated for a day. And I was good with that, honestly, but here recently she told me she’s not sure if it was the right decision and said that she gets really jealous thinking about me dating anyone else, and she just sounds like she’s actually into me but doesn’t want to admit it for some reason, which I guess I’m okay with, but whenever I try and talk to other people, go out on dates/get hookups and shit, she’s all disappointed and shit and it’s starting to get ridiculously annoying because I’m so ready to drop everything and do everything for her, but it feels like she doesn’t really give a shit about me. I live 3 hours away from home now, and I make trips home to see her and my friends, but when I talked about her driving up to see me when I get an apartment, she made it sound like that was absolutely ridiculous and that made me a bit pissed, but I mean no matter how much I know that she’s not good for me, I still really, really like her and I don’t think I can get over that any time soon and I just don’t know what to do and I’ve got way too many things that are way more important on my plate. I don’t know if she really gets what affect she has on me, and I’m not sure how to deal with her.

Just that- life is kind of shit right now, and I don’t have friends around here. I just need a hug and someone to listen.

I like to think I’m a good person. However I’m fat from too much fast food and years of a sedentary lifestyle. I partied hard in college and definitely put on the freshman (50). Things got worse when I left school and moved to the middle of nowhere for a crappy marketing job. My job and the place I like mostly are boring except sometimes I get to travel. I stayed with my former roommate and BFF in NYC. She works in finance. She goes to either power yoga or “tone house” every day. She is one of those white and perfect physical specimens that belongs on a magazine. I probably outweigh her by 70 lbs. I should have known better but I attempted to work out with her and I got my ass handed to me in the first five minutes and almost died. My friend was giving people high fives and yelling stupid encouragement at me that was just pissing me off. As if that was not enough, I was further reminded of just how out of shape I’ve become after I attempted to follow her up the never-ending subway steps and then the stairways to her apartment. All I could think was how perfect her life is now and how uber toned she is all over and how in contrast my legs and butt are quivering all over as my heart races and I gasp for air up these impossibly long and out of service escalators. When we finally made it home she made some gloating comment about how she likes to climb steps two at a time even when she’s carrying tons of grocery bags. Screw you!!! All her stupid party friends are physically perfect like her too. I was literally the DUFF when we went out at night. I’m sure they look down their spoiled ass rhinoplasty noses at me too. Just the whole bunch of them is spoiled, vapid, only interested in men with money. They worship their own appearance, work out every day, and drink kale smoothies for breakfast. I choke on their kale. So nasty. Give me a doughnut. After my visit I realize I now hate my friend and she is now Ex-BFF. Her life is better in every way it seems. I would like to put a plastic bag over her perfect face and strangle her to death but I’m pretty sure after seeing her workout she would still easily kick the crap out of me. At least I win at not being a stuck up snob obsessed with myself.

I’m 26 years old and I feel like I’ve wasted my life. Straight out of HS I started a media business with 4 of my closest friends. At first it was amazing. We even expanded. We made pretty good money. Better than most in our generation. I dedicated all my time to it…I was addicted to that feeling of success like I made something of myself, but I think I also did it because it meant I got to spend time with one of the other cofounders. I never really cared about relationships, and I never really thought I was gay, I didn’t think about dudes or anything, the only sex I’ve had has been with drunk chicks and one night stands, but I loved spending time with him specifically. All of my friends made the business great but I started to realize over time it was more with him. I made up excuses for us to stay late, just so we could talk, I’d offer to carpool just to see him more. I didn’t want to admit how felt. I grew up in a pretty traditional Latino household and plus I just didn’t want to be that stereotype I had in my head about gay men. So I just kept it to myself. Around 3 years in our company started having finacial issues and he got a girlfriend. Both those things stressed me out so much, because I knew I was gonna lose him and I couldn’t have him but I couldn’t lose my company too. It went under and we all kind of dispersed. My friends that I’d had been so privledged to have so close to me for so long were gone, and he was gone too. I started living my life, decided to go to college (albeit a bit late) and I want to put myself out there and come to terms with who I am (part of me feels like it’s too late for that). It hasn’t been easy. I’m older than everyone here. I feel lonely. Maybe I’m depressed? And now my cofounder/my weird forever crush calls me and tells me he has funds to revive our business, he wants to try again. (And he broke up with his girlfriend). A huge part of me just wants to try again, go back to how things were, that business was my baby and I just love being around this man it doesn’t matter if nothing ever happens because I love him but a bigger part of me says going back is just wasting more time I don’t have, this business has been my life- for seven years now. I don’t know what to to do. I feel so low. I’ve never had a realtionship and I just feel like no matter what I do will be disappointed. So yeah, life sucks. That’s my scream into the void.