Who ruined your mood? Tell the wall.

Dating apps are modern hell.
He said “I’m 6’0” but that’s emotionally.” He had a fish pic and said “not looking for anything serious.” Bro, you’re holding a trout. Of course you’re not.

My group chat is dry but if I die, they better post crying selfies.
I want drama. I want “you were the light of my life” posts. Even though y’all left me on read for 3 days.

I'm the only one who changes the toilet paper.
Like it magically appears? You used it. Replace it. This isn’t a Charmin fairy tale.

I waved at someone who wasn’t waving at me.
And I didn’t recover. I stood there. With my stupid hand in the air. Like an NPC glitching in public. Kill me.

My neighbor's dog barks all day but the one time I yell “SHUT UP” out the window, I’m the asshole. Cool. Got it.

The cabinet? Slam. The toilet seat? Slam. The remote? Slam. What war are you fighting? Calm DOWN.

I cooked dinner and nobody ate it.
They said they “weren’t hungry” and then an hour later I hear the fucking crinkling of chip bags and cereal boxes. Starve, honestly.

The guy behind me in line literally breathed like a serial killer.
Just heavy. Wet. Mouth wide open. Just... inhales and gurgles. I paid $8 for a coffee and a panic attack.

I'm 29. I didn't fall, I didn't do anything cool. I sneezed. And now I'm walking like a damn broken marionette. This is bullshit.

Should I be ashamed that I don't have any friends? I still have my family but I think that my co workers are right having no friends at my age is like being a loser. I have that one person I always hang out with but only because she made I y clear that she pities me. Also when her friends arrives she leaves me and don't even invite me to join them.