Something bothering you? Let it out.

How the fuck could you do this to me? What the hell did I ever do to deserve it? I gave you everything my love, my trust, my honesty, my patience. And you just shit all over it like it meant nothing. You're so fucking selfish. Grow the fuck up and learn what it means to actually care about someone.

I don’t even know what the hell to believe anymore. I was raised to believe in God and Jesus and all that, and I still do… but then I see all this stuff about evolution and science, and it actually makes sense too. Feels like I’m stuck in the middle, questioning everything, and it’s honestly exhausting.

You’re on my damn mind constantly, but I’m starting to feel like I’m nothing but an afterthought to you. I hate this fucking back and forth just be real with me or don’t bother at all. I’m tired of decoding every little thing like it’s some twisted game.

Just found out you’ve been fucking cheating. I feel sick to my goddamn stomach. You really had me thinking you were different. Don’t act surprised when karma slaps the shit out of you you fucked with the wrong person.

Isn’t it wild how my closest friend is someone I’ve never even met in person? You’re all the way in England, I’m here in the U.S., and somehow you feel closer than most people around me. Just… thank you for being there.

God, I hate this. My whole life, I've never had a good connection with a bloke, not really. It just feels so... foreign to me. Like something everyone else gets, but I'm just watching from the outside. When they actually do take an interest, it just scares me. Seriously, it terrifies me.
I've never had a relationship.

Never even slept with anyone. The first man I was supposed to love, my dad, the first man I laid my eyes on when I was born... that whole deal turned out to be absolute crap. I wasn't taught, wasn't shown, what real love is, what it's even supposed to feel like. And it’s completely messed with who I've become. It just carried on, this pattern, through various situations I ended up in, and none of them ever had a good or happy ending. I have nothing good to compare it to.

I see people, normal people, out and about with their partners, holding hands, laughing, just being together, and I don't have that. But God, I really do, secretly, want that. I don't know what it's like to actually be wanted as a person, you know? Not just, like, for getting into my knickers. That's not what I want. I want the things people just take for granted, or worse, ruin through cheating.

And don't get me started on cheaters and the people who just trash a relationship. Because when they're finally "sorry," it's too late. And then they whine and moan about it? Sorry, but you've never been in my shoes. You'd see it completely differently if you had. It's not boring to have a home and someone to come home to, is it?! No, it's not. It's everything.

Oh god, it's Friday again, and all I can think about is how much I hate that I'm such a colossal failure. Like, seriously, I went to medical school. Medical school! And I couldn't cut it. Just couldn't. And now? Now I'm staring down hundreds of thousands in debt, and it feels like there are exactly zero jobs for me.

I mean, yeah, I could go into healthcare, but the pay? It wouldn't even touch my monthly payments, not by a long shot. So I'm trying to switch careers, but that takes time. So much time. And while I'm doing that, that goddamn debt number is just going to keep climbing. I swear to god, I'm going to die poor. I can just see it.
And marriage? Kids? Forget about it. How could I ever inflict this mountain of debt on someone else? Or worse, on little innocent lives if something happened to me? It's just not fair. I hate that my failure, my one big screw-up, is being punished so brutally. Every single day.

I just wish I was better. I wish I was smart enough, strong enough, enough to have succeeded. I hate that I'm this pathetic shell now, and there's absolutely nothing I can do to change it. Everything just... hurts. It all just hurts.

Okay, so recently, after Spanish started in the 2nd semester, there's this girl named Sylvia. Just hearing that name makes me want to- UGH!! I don't even know what to do. But anyways, I was walking down the hallway with my friend Anna-who isn't the one being bullied-and we see Sylvia pointing and laughing at Luella. I wanted to go over to Sylvia and rip the fake hair extensions off of her decaying scalp, shove my pencil case and binder so far up her ass that it comes out of her mouth, force her to eat horsehair worms without chewing, feed her a drug that stops her stomach from growing new tissue each month, so her stomach acid burns her alive from the inside out. Sylvia is just so able to hate, too. I'm not saying being fat is bad in this next sentence btw. She'll say stuff like, "I'm so skinny, I should eat some more, shouldn't I, David?" AND DAVID IS MY BOYFRIEND JUST TO BE CLEAR!! And more things like, "Why does nobody want to date me?" LIKE- BC UR MEAN TO EVERYONE.

I’m fucking DONE with Trump!! his loudmouth lies, his smug-ass grin, it’s everywhere!! he screws over regular people, spews hate, and calls it “winning”!! my neighbor got deported, my sister’s scared, and he just keeps yelling “MAGA” like it fixes everything!! FUCK HIM!! he’s a liar, a bully, and I’m so sick of his bullshit ruining lives!!

I’m so fucking DONE with these Nazi wannabe scumbags crawling out of their holes like they got something worth saying!! I can’t even scroll X or walk down the street without seeing some brain-dead edgelord waving their swastika bullshit or spewing hate like it’s a personality trait!! it makes my blood BOIL!! these cowards think they’re tough, hiding behind “free speech” while they glorify a regime that murdered millions—MILLIONS!!—of innocent people, kids, families, just for existing!! my grandpa fought in that war, okay, he saw the camps, the bodies, the horror, and he carried that shit til the day he died!! and now these pathetic losers wanna act like that’s some kind of “heritage” to be proud of?! FUCK THAT!!

I’m shaking typing this, I’m so mad!! every time I see one of their dumb flags or hear their garbage rhetoric, I wanna scream in their faces—YOU’RE WORSHIPPING MONSTERS!! Hitler was a psychotic freak who ruined the world, and you’re out here thinking he’s your hero?! what’s wrong with you!! I saw this guy at a rally once, all smug with his shaved head and stupid tattoos, yelling about “saving the race” or whatever, and I just wanted to grab him and shake him til he sees how fucking stupid he is!! it’s not just history, it’s happening NOW—people getting hurt, lives ruined, because these Nazis think they’re above everyone else!!
and don’t even get me started on the online crap!! they infest every corner of the internet, spreading their poison, acting like they’re the victims!! like, oh boo-hoo, you can’t scream slurs without pushback, cry me a river!! I’m so tired of this, tired of the hate, tired of the fear they spread!! my friend, she’s Jewish, she’s scared to wear her Star of David necklace now because of these pricks!! that’s not freedom, that’s terror!! I just want to live in a world where I don’t have to explain to my little cousin why some asshole spray-painted a swastika on her school!!

I’m not perfect, okay, I get angry, I mess up, but at least I’m not out here worshipping evil!! Nazis aren’t just a “different opinion,” they’re a fucking cancer!! they don’t get to hide behind “debate” when their whole ideology is about wiping out anyone who doesn’t fit their sick fantasy!! I’m so done with people saying “just ignore them” or “they’re not that bad.” YES THEY ARE!! history proved it, and they’re proving it again every damn day!! I just want to grab every single one of them and make them see the pain they cause!! I’m so fucking exhausted, but I’ll keep screaming about this til they’re gone for good!! FUCK NAZIS!!