What is one thing that makes absolutely no sense?

Every year, 'Autism Acceptance Month' rolls around, and it feels like a cruel joke. Neurotypicals post their performative nonsense, while high-functioning autistics flaunt their perfect lives. Meanwhile, I’m stuck in this wasteland of alienation and pain.

I’ve been bullied relentlessly—by classmates, teachers, mental health professionals, even other autistics. Every space I try to join pushes me away. Flashbacks of the bullying haunt me daily, leaving me crying and melting down. Society gaslights me into thinking my life matters, but the truth is, it doesn’t care. Autism isn’t acceptable—it’s treated like something that should be erased.

I’m exhausted from trying to survive in a world that feels hostile at every turn. I’m grieving the fact that I don’t belong here, and I’m tired of pretending I’m okay just to keep the few people I have left. I don’t know how much longer I can keep holding on.

I trusted the vet. I did everything I could. And yet, here I am, feeling like the world's biggest idiot. My baby deserved better—better care, better timing, better everything. The guilt is eating me alive, and I can’t stop replaying every decision, every moment. People might think it’s ‘just a gerbil,’ but to me, it was everything. And now? Now I’m left with this crushing emptiness and the unbearable weight of ‘what if.

I swear McDonald's has one job—hand me the food I ordered. But nah, apparently, that’s too much to ask. My order? Completely wrong. The disappointment? IMMEASURABLE. Now I gotta debate if it’s worth the effort to go back or just accept my fate and suffer through this sad excuse of a meal. Either way, I’m salty—and not in the good, crispy fry kind of way.

He said 'I love you so fucking much'—and it hit different. This boy barely swears, like ever. But apparently, he swears more around girls he wants to impress. So now I’m stuck wondering: was that his way of showing me I’m special, or just him trying too hard? Either way, my brain won’t shut up about it.

Why are the dumpsters at my apartment always full like it’s Black Friday for raccoons?? Every damn week. Overflowing. Trash bags stacked like sad little towers, and when it rains — it’s straight up trash soup.
They charge “luxury rent” but can’t schedule a second pickup? We got three buildings, one dumpster, and a bunch of lazy neighbors who just toss their crap next to the bin like it’s a performance art piece. And the smell?? I walked past it the other day and almost met God.
And what does management say? “We’re aware of the issue.” Yeah well, so are the flies. Pretty sure they’ve been here longer than me and pay rent on time.
Fix. The. Damn. Dumpster. Issue.

#ApartmentLife #OverflowingTrash

Everybody said “college gon be the best years of ur life” like ok… did y’all enjoy the emotional collapse part or the ramen n breakdowns??
i’m so tired bro. like physically, mentally, financially, spiritually.
I got a paper due, 3 unread emails from professors who probably hate me, and i still don’t know wtf a derivative even is.
The group projects be like “carry us or fail” and i’m out here googling how to fake my own death but still graduate. Why TF is everything so damn expensive too?? My books cost more than my soul. No one told me makin friends as an adult feels like tryna adopt a stray cat — they run away if u make eye contact.
College ain’t no dream. it’s a never-ending to-do list and a bunch of strangers pretending we’re all okay.
I just wanna nap for 2 years and maybe pass stats.

#CollegeStruggles #IMightDropOut #SendHelp #SleepDeprivedAndAlive #IDidntSignUpForThis #Not
Okay

I don’t even know what I’m holding on for anymore.
It’s like… I wake up, and before I even open my eyes, I feel that weight. The one that sits on your chest and whispers “why bother?” before your feet even touch the floor.

I smile at people. I laugh when I’m supposed to. But inside? I’m just quietly falling apart.
Everyone thinks I’m okay. I’m good at faking it. I’ve had years of practice.
I’m tired of being strong. I’m tired of pretending I’m not lonely when the silence in my room is so loud it hurts.
I’m tired of trying to explain how I feel only to get hit with “you’ll be fine” or “it could be worse.”
God, I know it could be worse. But it doesn’t make this hurt any less.
Sometimes I just want someone to look at me and really see me. Not the version I package for the world. The broken, exhausted, barely-holding-it-together version that just needs someone to care.

I don’t want to be dramatic. I just… don’t want to feel like this anymore.
And I don’t even know how to say that out loud without making everyone uncomfortable.
So I’ll just leave it here. In this quiet corner.
Because maybe that’s all I have the strength for right now.

I really miss my brother.

My job is killing me. I do the work of 4 different people and the only recognition I ever get is for mistakes and I don't know how much longer I can do it. I cant quit and I have no other options besides applying and praying that something works out. I genuinely don't feel safe in my own body anymore and I don't see a way out that doesnt involve me winding up dead or homeless. I fucking hate these managers and this culture and nothing I ever do for them is enough

I was failing in my 8th grade, so I chose to be homeschooled the next grade (grade9) I thought that being homeschooled will be a opportunity for me and my mom to bond or have time for eachother. I regret choosing homeschool, she just pressure me and not what I want to happen.My mental health is getting weaker, everytime she guilt trips me or pressuring me and comparing me to the other students. I'm tired of it, Couldn't even cry or show my tears around her or she'll just say its my fault:)