Feel like screaming? Use your words instead.

Do i have a fault? Is it me? (╯︵╰,) [Long story!]

This may be or is cringey, but its just another one of those... Meeting on Roblox, talking over on discord, meeting each other in real life (we actually did + his and my mother).

Met this guy in 2020, confessed in 2023 and started talking more after to the point he was pursuing me, but then.. Somewhere 2023-2024 he has neglected me over games, and no, im not someone who's strict since i game all the time too! I did let him know gently that i was just here if he needs me. And i totally do know the importance of each game he plays, i definitely do!

Though he did come back to me after.. Oh, just a few months of neglect. We just i guess chatted like that didn't happen at all, lol. But when i thought that ended.. It happened again. (T⌓T)

This time in the big 2025! We were fine until.. Our conversations didn't felt that interactive like it used to be anymore.. I even played the games he frequently played! His friends know about us, and im actively there in their group chat. But even with that.. Im just there in the background for him. This time, i spoke up about it this time i let him know how i felt paragraph upon paragraph. In the end i got are just mediocre replies and half hearted apologies, and self deprecating words. What? "Just throw my resume out in the trash" He meant was that if he continues to perform badly with pursuing, i should just let it go but i shouldn't let his friends know if we ever stopped but we'd continue being friends. I'm willing to make it work, but he just doesn't put any effort in us anymore.
But after my paragraphs about us, he started to message me more and let me know that he was there, letting me know that he's just playing, sending updates.. I liked that. But it didnt last much eventually.
And no, he is not a guy who talks to other girls, or even seek any other female attention. He's just Really that engrossed in games like genuinely.
Slowly.. Our chat started to burnout, to the point where you dont even have to scroll that far to see the messages we had from yesterday (Ｔ▽Ｔ).

Fast forward to now.. The sparks already extinguished months ago. We don't talk much anymore and would just do small conversations and just let it be.

I'm pretty sure he's felt that, if not.. Then i don't know, Ill have to say it to him.
Funny to think that he was the second to the guys who's treated me well! And im very happy about it, he's a lovely, humorous, smart fella. Though as much as this hurts me, there's no need to cut him off! ^^ We tried, y'know?

[Side notes for stuff you'd probably ask]
1) his mother is very sweet and acknowledges me as his girlfriend, even though... We weren't even official yet on my side. (Strict mother, even though I'm 20, its understandable.)

2) one of his friends growing up knows about this story, but not everyone else in the group chat.

3) I was his first, it does take a lot of error and trials here and there, but I've officially just gotten tired. Maybe not everyone lands their forever on their first person, y'know? But you'll definitely learn from the experience.

4) Me and him are just the same age, with him being 2 months away from mine.

5) He is a totally green flag guy, though just very quirky and odd at times but its what made him endearing to me :)

6) I don't know why there's neglect going on if the relationship is going smoothly? There wasn't anything in my part things to go dry.

7) don't know what else to add, so maybe just comment! ( ^u^)

Apologies if im not good with words, English is not my first but i sure do understand what i feel. Thanks for reading! ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ

Feeling so frustrated that im the only one waking each and every single night for the baby , partner doesnt understand why I feel alone. He sleeps in a separate room for starters, and goes to work for half the day, does whatever he likes once home, and then wonders why im upset. Well, because im stupidly fed up of him being the only adult human being I get to speak to every day and even then half the time he dont wanna hear it or is "too tired" to talk. I feel so isolated, alone and resentful.

im tired

I worked my ass off, 12 hour shifts straight, asked her to pay my phone bill. She didn’t. Phone cut off. She acted surprised, like I was hiding something. She wanted to pay it at 1 a.m., like the world is open for her vampire hours. She misses everything, complains places close too early. She even dragged us to Universal only to show up when it was already closing and demanded a manager. I can’t love this anymore.

i'm playing skyrim for the first time! :)

after years of trying she still said no. so yea guess i’m just forever alone.

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I had sexual feelings over Spamton NEO and i'm feeling immense shame over it.

This stupid girl in my English course for college just wouldn't shut the fuck up and embarrassed me in front of all my peers. I have Bipolar, and we started analyzing Kanye West, who also has Bipolar, so I figured I would talk about it, and this bitch kept correcting me and telling me I was wrong and not to assume things about mental illness, blah blah blah. I'm already having a stressful week, my phone is broken, I quit vaping, I'm being promoted to manager and pharm tech, I cried in my car...

I just had the worst birthday of my life.

Happy 21st to me I guess, and happy anniversary of ruining my parents lives too.